SPENDING HOLIDAYS AWAY FROM HOME

My name is Jo Ann Dumlao, and I have been a Migrant Domestic Worker (MDW) from August 2007 up to the present.  Being far away from home in this festive season pinches my heart.  I long ache to be with my children, with my mom and my siblings. Working thousands of miles away from home is hard; and it is even lonelier when the festive season comes every year. I am a Filipina and a Christian; Christmas is a very important part of my year.  However, being a MDW, most of us committed to spending the festive season working – unless we are one of the lucky ones whose employer lets us go home to spend this festive season with our own loved ones; our family.

Wanting to understand what my fellow MDW’s are experiencing during this festive season, I set out to gather some of my fellow MDW’s and hear their stories about Christmas away from home. When was the last time they spent Christmas holidays with their family? How do they spend their holidays?

Hearing some of their responses went straight to my heart and made me speechless.  I am away from my own beloved family for the festive season, but I am still one of the lucky ones.  The following are their stories:

Aida Leste Ocampo

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Aida Ocampo

My first chat was with Aida Leste Ocampo, 36 years old and single from Cagayan Valley, Philippines. Aida has been working in Singapore for 16 long years as an MDW and in all that time, not once has she been home for Christmas. Unbelievable but true.

For 16 years, she always dreamed of being home for Christmas, but it has never happened. I felt her pain when she said: “it really breaks my heart every time it crosses my mind that my Mother passed away in 2010 and then my Brother passed away in 2013 without me spending Christmas with them.” She is teary eyed and I am too. Does she have a choice? Sorry, but, “No she doesn’t.”

I asked her why she is not able to spend Christmas with her loved ones. Yes, she has tried asking her boss’s if she can go home on Christmas holidays, but her employers are businesspeople and during the holidays is their busiest time. If Aida goes home, there is no one to look after the children and to take charge of the household. So a big “NO” answer is what she always gets.

Now that it’s Christmas time again, it’s still a wish for her to be home and be with her loved ones for one more Christmas holiday. Aida is wishing good health for her family and she wants them to know that she misses them so much. And to her employers: may their business grow more abundantly.

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Diwata

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Diwata and her children

Diwata started our conversation by saying, “I am very blessed having this family I am working with. I think they are the coolest employer.” Let’s find out why she is so happy!

Diwata Prepose Jaravata, is a 42 years old mother of 2 from Baler, Quezon Philippines:. She has a 23 year old son, (Mechanical graduate and has a good job) and a 20 year old daughter (Bachelor in Secondary Education;  student).

Diwata has been working as MDW in Singapore for 17+ years and hasn’t spent Christmas back home in all of those years. Diwata’s first employers were Chinese and she worked for them for 4 years. After her 2nd employment contract with them, she decided to find a new family to work with. Diwata is blessed in finding her current employers: a Eurasian family (Chinese Ma’am and Portuguese Sir) with a Lawyer daughter and 2 sons still in University and studying abroad.  Diwata has now been with this family for 13 years and counting.

Diwata goes home every 4 years but not during the Christmas holidays. Her employers are in the party mode in this season especially as they are Catholic in religion. Diwata spends her Christmas working long hours. Diwata’s schedule gets busy from the 1st week of December – putting up Christmas decorations, checking food warmers and crockeries, menu planning for the Christmas party. For the 2nd and 3rd week, she is busy baking; everything from cookies to fruit cakes and pineapple tarts. Here comes December 24! A whole day cooking for Christmas Eve.  Noche Buena for the family and guests. Christmas day itself, more guests are coming,.  The cooking continues with more food to prepare. Diwata only get the chance to rest on the 2 days after Christmas.

“Did you ever complain?”, I asked. I was expecting a yes answer, but “NO” is the answer I get. Diwata is happy and contented with this Eurasian family. Every year without fail, she gets 13th month pay and jewellery. In 2012, Diwata needed to undergo surgery for her Thyroid and her employers were there for her: they supported her all the way. Just recently, they got her a pair of eyeglasses. And her lady boss is a gift-giver with or without occasion. In her 13+ years with them, Diwata has never been scolded.  She said that if her boss gets upset or didn’t like something that Diwata did: she simply gets an emoji on her phone of upset or angry look. How cool is that?  Diwata is one heck of a lucky MDW, she doesn’t even do car washing as her Sir does it.  Every time they have a party, her Sir helps her in the dishwashing and her Ma’am in cleaning and vacuuming. On top of this, Diwata’s employers help her in her children’s schooling and tuition fees. They know that Diwata alone can’t sufficiently support the University expenses.

In your opinion, my fellow MDW’s, if you were in Diwata’s shoes, would there still be room for complaints? But wait, let’s see how far Diwatas patience is…In her 12 years working with the family, guess how much her salary is: $550’  Yes, it’s true! Only in January this year did she finally get the salary increase she has been waiting for (and may I say: “Long overdue”). Patience is a virtue, indeed.

I asked Diwata how did she manage her salary in that long years. “I am receiving other ways of blessings from them and I am treated very well and with respect. Sometimes we need to see how good and kind our employers are: its not just about money. With their help in the University tuition fees, I won’t ask for more, but I still received more. That’s why I am trying my best to reciprocate all I have received by working hard; working with dedication especially when there’s occasion that they need my help.

Don’t ask for more if you are blessed with more than what you asked for.

Myself, I am a single mother far away from home working hard and not being able to spend Christmas holidays with my children, mother or family.  I feel in my heart what these fellow MDW’s has gone through: I am teary eyed .

But come on guys, let’s not lose hope that someday, somehow we’ll be able to spend Christmas holidays with our family and our love ones. Let the spirit of Christmas be with us.

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Jane Andote and her children

For my third story, meet Jane!

Jane Andote has been working hard in Singapore for 20 years.  Because of her hard life dedicated to supporting her 2 children, she has experienced the pain of not going home for 20 years. She said, she has had to hold on to prayers and thoughts of giving her children a good future.

Her husband passed away when her children were still very young (her daughter, the youngest, was just a baby at the time). One month after her husband died, she decided to work overseas and chose Singapore. Many were against in her plan.  The people around her told her that the pain of losing her husband was still very fresh, her children were still very young. But she was determined and came to Singapore to start working as an MDW.  Jane told me that she doesn’t regret her decision at all.

Jane says she has been very lucky with her employer because she is still with the same family she started working with 20 years ago. Needless to say, they love and care and treat Jane as part of the family. “Needless to say”?  Unfortunately, this is not the reality for so many of our MDW friends.

All Janes sacrifices for her children have paid-off.  Her son is a Marine Engineer already and is working on a ship.  Her daughter is a BS Hotel and Restaurant Management graduate and is also working already.

In Jane’s own words, said with a mix of sadness and happiness: “I have experienced all kinds of hardships. I get drowned in debts that till now am still paying.  Being a single mother away from her children is not easy.  There are nights that I am not able to  get to sleep thinking about them especially if they are sick or unwell. I know that they are well being taken care-off but the mother feelings of me most of the time make me feel guilty. But on the other hand, I’ll feel more guilty if I won’t do anything for their future.”

No one can be happier than a mother seeing her children become successful in their lives.

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Jojie Maravilla

One of the hardworking HOME volunteers, the friendly and jolly Jojie Maravilla is here to share her story as well. Jojie is Single, 41 years old and the youngest of the 13 siblings, from Calapan City, Oriental Mindoro Philippines.

She is the youngest but the toughest of the 13. She sacrifices herself to work abroad in Singapore to support her family. She is the guardian angel of her parents and her siblings, nephews and nieces. Jojie said, she loves her family so much that she will do anything for them to make life a little bit easier. Name all kinds of sacrifices for the family, Jojie has gone through them already.  She is single but she is working like she has her own family to support already. I consider one heroic act in what Jojie has done to her siblings—paying their debts so not just to put them in trouble. Bunso (youngest) to the rescue!  Salute for you Jojie!

Working here in Singapore, it’s known that struggles are there on the way and for Jojie’s struggle has been in finding the right employer. She has had more employers than she has spent years in Singapore.  13 employers in 11 years! It’s either that the employer goes back home for good or else the employer is not a good match for Jojie.  Just recently, Jojie joined her latest employer and she is crossing her fingers, hopes and pray that finally she found the right one.

Like any other MDW, she wished to go home on Christmas holidays too. With a deep sigh and sad look, Jojie said: “I am looking forward that my wish to be home on Christmas holidays will eventually happen in God’s perfect timing. For now, it’s like a puzzle that some pieces are missing.”

It’s been 11 long years away from home.  No Christmas at home: no visits back home at all. Overflowing love for the family.  This year Christmas holiday for Jojie is much better or let’s say she feel the spirit of Christmas within her. She wishes her love one’s and her employees “A Joyful Christmas and a Bountiful New Year!”

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Inhale, exhale for few minutes. And here we go writing the next story.

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Evangeline Pulpulaan

Introducing Evangeline Canognog Pulpulaan, 42 years old from Bala Makabunsod Magsaysay, Davao del Sur . A single mom of a son, 18 years of age this coming January 2020. She was 26 years old when she started working in Singapore

To count, 17 years working in Singapore and never been home for Christmas. Her reason: it’s better to send ticket money to her family so they can buy  what they need for Christmas. “Yes, it’s true, it is sad not being together with them but knowing that they are happy with the Christmas gift I give is all that matters.”

But this year it’s  different: a difficult and heart-breaking period, all she can do is pray and tells herself and her family: “anytime soon in God’s good hands. everything will be back to normal.”   Earthquakes devastated her home town and Vangie’s house didn’t escaped undamaged. Her house has cracks in the walls making the house unsafe. Not to take risks, her family moved-out and now live in a tent. “The house is still standing but with the cracks and the unpredictable earthquakes that may strike again, they better to be safe than sorry” Vangie said.  She is really worried for her family safety.

In spite of this, Vangie never loses hope and she is thankful she works with very understanding and supportive bosses.

Vangie will be going to church with her friends for Christmas Eve Mass and after that, they will be strolling around Orchard to Marina Bay to enjoy the night.

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Jona Baranit

Next we meet Jona Baranit from Sigma, Capiz.  38 years old, “still single and available”. After 16 years of working as an MDW in Singapore, Jona still hasn’t been home for Christmas.

The colourful ambience of Christmas holiday is all around and it’s the time that we all wait for, to be with our families back home. But for Jona, nothing has changed: the same as the past years, Jona is not going home.

She has mixed emotions for this season, happy and sad. Happy that her family will enjoy the Christmas season with the presents she gives them. Her family will experience the things that they never could if she had’t made her sacrifice. All she thinks about is her family that depends on her to make life a bit easier for them. There’s a pain in her heart too that she’s not home for Christmas but work doesn’t give her the chance to. The family she’s working for needs her services during the holidays. All she can do is to video call her family on Christmas Day and that makes her happy.

I was curious if this year she asked her boss if she can go home for Christmas. “For a change, I did.  I had hoped that maybe I can and will give a big surprise to my family so I asked my boss but a shake of the head for NO is what I got.” Jona said sadly.

So much sacrifices for the sake of family because the love for the family is what makes Jona keep going.

Christmas, it is a time to relax, to spread love, to laugh with our love ones, to forgive and forget, to eat great food and most of all, always remember, God is love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

By: Jo Ann Dumlao

 

 

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