By Jo Ann Dumlao
A mother without a doubt loves her children very much. A mother’s love supposes a willingness to struggle, to work, to suffer and to rejoice. It is a love that brings her satisfaction and ultimate fulfillment even if it means reaching beyond herself. Because giving is more important to her than receiving.
Sometimes this kind of love that a mother has for her children pushes her to leave her family to serve somebody else to be able to provide some, if not all, of their wants and especially all their needs. A mother has to sacrifice herself and suffer in order to provide for the children, be it a necessity or a luxury, their whims or caprice.
The only consolation for such a mother is the thought that she can provide a better life for her children. And this can become an inspiration that gives her the strength to carry on; the thought that you are giving your children financial security, an education and material things.
The decision to go away from my children was the hardest decision I have ever made. I did it because of some unfavourable situations that have significantly affected my family especially my children.
I have 3 children who need my guidance and supervision all the time in their studies and in their difficult growing up years. Most of all, they need my love.
Janwin Kirby, my only son, was 9 years old – a 3rd grader – when I left him together with his 2 sisters. Shaine was 14 (now 25) and Jilliane was only 7 (now 18). I was aware that at that age, he really needed maternal guidance growing up.
And now, Janwin Kirby is 20 years old and a fresh graduate from University with a Bachelor in Secondary Education. He was a Latin Honouree-Cum Laude! Yes, I can say that I am the proudest migrant mother of my son’s accomplishment in his studies.
It was not an easy journey for us. There were times that I asked myself “Can I still make it? Will I be able to support his studies all throughout his course until he graduates?”
I know that he has always been diligent in his studies: the moment he started his first subject in his first year in college, he set himself a goal. He became a College Scholar but his goals were higher still. To be on the stage, receiving medals during his graduation was his ultimate dream. And believe it or not, in his last semester in College, he computed his grades from 1st year to 4th year to see if he could make it or not. And he was confident enough with the computation he made.
How did I receive the good news? How did I react? I can still remember! It was April 12th, 2018 not so early in the morning. I answered one of my son’s calls (I ignored the first 4 calls actually). So I answered and said: “hmmm what’s up?” And he replied; “Mommy I have something to tell you and please let me talk first.” My heart beat fast waiting for what he was going to say and then he blurted out; “Mommy, I made it, I am a Cum Laude!”
Did I hear it right? I didn’t believe him and I even said: “That’s a big time joke, don’t do that to me!” “Mommy, mommy listen to me, I have fulfilled my promise, my goal I am a Cum Laude! I hope I am making you happy and proud of me!”
Tears were abundantly flowing, from a silent cry to a sob. I was speechless and when I found my tongue “Thank you son, I am so proud of you and I love you” were the words that I said.
The night before his graduation April 28, I came home. I was so excited, so overwhelmed, overjoyed. I needed to give him my tightest hug and kiss him all over his face.
On his graduation day, it was as if I was floating in the air. Standing side by side together with his fellow Honouree graduates and their parents in front of the rest of the graduates as we marched down.
When I heard his name being called up in the stage to receive his medals as a Cum Laude, I was teary-eyed. I still watch the video of it and I think I haven’t absorbed it fully yet.
Being an OFW mom is not easy at all. It never will be. I am just so blessed with my 3 children who are so loving, respectful, God fearing and responsible especially in their studies. Even when we are miles away from each other, they never take for granted my pieces of advice because they understand that it’s for their own good, not mine. Thanks to for the modern technology of video calling, which offers a great way of easing homesickness.
My fellow OFW mom’s (single mom like me or not), it is very important for us to stay positive in every situation we are in because we are away from our love ones. Let us be optimistic, don’t let problems drag us down, let’s keep our faith, pray, for God is our greatest refuge.