Happiness where are you?
by Rosita Madrid Sanchez
At the age of 16 I am already a mother
People said I was too young to handle
I didn’t experience teenage life
To be free as a bird and to be as me.
Poverty has led me in this situation, one of the reasons I can blame on
I thought at an early age, getting married to the older man would show me direction
But I was wrong, its all my fault, I’ve been used and abused.
I have decided to work as a domestic helper
To the place far away from my nightmare
Leaving behind my kids in the care of my mother
It felt like I was dying a million times when I stepped in an airplane
Tears flowing, running nose dripping
Heaven showered me with thunderstorms and lightning.
Days, months, even a year moved
Time flew so fast like running
Now my contract is ending
What should I do? I kept thinking.
In the foreign land, I felt love, I felt that I am important and great
I had the freedom that I kept looking for
To gain myself and to be the real me.
Even if I have all of this, why do I still feel incomplete?
Some parts of my body are missing
All I want is to be happy
Why happiness is so hard to get?
Now I need to wake up to reality.
To face my family, to see my own kids
The life that I keep hiding on
Am I scared? I’m scared of my shadow that doesn’t want to leave
All I need is to be happy to find the real me.